More Than This

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Ever since I was a child I would sit and ponder the meaning of life. Why are we here? What is our purpose?

Honestly, if you have an investigative mind, like most people do, how could you not want to know?

As I’ve grown I have shifted my curiosity from the macro to the micro. Instead of asking what our purpose is, I’m starting to think more about what my purpose is.

Today, I was walking the dog when I had a bit of an epiphany. I was listening to this great song, when it hit me: just let go.

“Let go…because there’s beauty in the breakdown.”

I’ve heard the song a million times but I never thought of that line until today.

The breakdown, the process, the deconstruction, can sometimes be the most beautiful part of this life.

Have you ever felt that sense of accomplishment when you are able to slowly and methodically work out a puzzle?

Or deconstructed a poem and found it’s true inner meaning was even more touching than you had expected?

The breakdown- the moment when everything goes from chaos to crystal clear- is often the moment you will appreciate the most.

Over the past few weeks I have discovered that I am in the midst of a beautiful breakdown of sorts. A weird beyond quarter life crisis.

I have felt a sense of anger, hopelessness, and fear of the future. Feelings I haven’t consciously thought about in a while.

But what is my purpose?

Does anyone really know?

My purpose in this life cannot just be handed to me on a silver platter. I must work for it. I must see my way through the breakdown to get to the deconstructed core. I know there must be more than this.

Does it scare me? Of course.

But some things are beyond my control. So I must ride the wave and see what the universe brings me.

And I know I’ll enjoy the ride.

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